Tag Archives: philosophy

Change

Hola Hart Beat. Can you believe it’s already the end of August? On Friday it will be September and even though Summer doesn’t officially end for a few more weeks I can feel it coming. Living in the Berkshires has given me such a connection to nature, something I never truly felt in New York, and every day the air, the trees, the wind, the bugs remind me that times are changing.

Change—something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. The other week in my favorite yoga class, my teacher talked about the idea that our bodies are biologically trained to accept change but that our social construct doesn’t welcome the idea. We don’t freak out when night comes because we know morning is coming right after but it’s our cultural and construction associated with change that gives us anxiety and regrets when we encounter change.

I’ve thought about that idea since she said it to our sangha. For me, this summer has been the cherry on top of this entire last year of freedom and exploration. I’ve never been happier or more fulfilled and it makes me anxious, this change in season. Can this happiness and life continue as the leaves fall, the temperature cools, and the fresh tomatoes in my backyard garden stop producing?

The book I’m writing, the god-damned book, is all about change. It’s about returning to your personhood you might have lost along the way of life. But I’ve been thinking lately, do you really return? Or do you incorporate your old self into your new self while not berating your past person for the time you might have lost or the self you might have pushed away?

People move, relationships progress, friendships ebb and flow, summer ends, fall begins, jobs grow stale, ideas bloom, and so much more—sometimes even all at once. I’ve been trying to embrace the changes and remind myself that it is all okay, that it’s all good even. It’s nature and natural for these things to happen. If we didn’t change what would we even be? Not alive surely and not learning or growing. How boring would that be?

This morning I read through the poem of the day emails I get from The Paris Review and was struck by this one here. It reminds me so much of what I’ve been wrestling with.

Cold
by Gerard Malanga

The young girl is unable to change 
The form of her habitual thinking,
The posture with which she corresponds to 
A feeling of sadness, the flow of her 
Thoughts in which she is looking,
The facial expression, and so on; 
She forgets herself to remember her pain 
In the neck, to remember her problems. 
I’ve said this before, remembering myself in the same 
Situation until she came 
Into my life for the first time 
Remembering herself walking out in the open field 
Of vision with eyes full of tears and smoke 
Slowly coming out of her mouth.

I hope this gives you some comfort, even in just knowing that there’s someone out there who is also thinking about all of this.

No Plan Jan

Hannah Hart Beat

Hi Hart Beat. Happy end of the holiday season! For those of you working in e-commerce, bravo, for those working in hospitality, congrats, for those of us just looking to survive the parties, friends, family, travel, and events that onslaught us all this time of year WE DID IT. WE REALLY, REALLY DID IT.

I don’t know about you, Hart Beat, but between traveling, working, and seeing people I got about zero actual good work done this month. I tried to sit down and write a few days but what came out was pretty much gobbledygook and needs a major rework in the second draft I’m starting next month. So, what to do about it? Well since we can’t go back in time I decided to try something new, something I’m calling “No Plan Jan.”

What’s No Plan Jan, you may be asking? That’s so catchy, is that something real? I mean, it is now. No Plan Jan comes from me and pretty much is exactly what the name implies—all of January is plan free. For me, that means that I’m not doing one social thing the entire month. No after work drinks, no coffees, no parties, no traveling, nada. I am going to be turning promptly into a hermit at zero o’clock on January 1st until midnight on January 31st. The point is so that I can go heads down and dive into finishing the first draft of my book and get the lions share of the second draft done before February 1st. I want to have not one thing in my way of writing.

But honestly, Hart Beat, No Plan Jan can mean whatever you want. The most important part is to just take the month for yourself. I know you told everyone and their mother you’d “catch up after the holidays” but honestly, no one will mind if you push that further back into February. Next thing we know spring will be here and with it summer so take this month, hermit yourself away, finish that project you started, that scarf you were knitting, that book your reading, and we’ll all be better off when we regroup in February, I promise.

Here’s what No Plan Jan means for me,

Things that are okay:

  • Work at the café two days a week (girls gotta make some cash)
  • Yoga classes at my yoga studio
  • Meetings with my writing coach (don’t fret Virginia!!)
  • Anything I’ve previously agreed to (Weddings, baby showers, Grandmother’s eightieth birthday party, etc.)

Red hot not okays:

  • After work drinks, coffee, parties, parties, seances, whatever
  • Catch up lunches that I planned in November 🙄
  • Leaving the Berkshires
  • Having fun of any kind (jkjk, it’s fun to sit in a room all alone and write, right?)
  • Book readings, poetry readings, basically, any event of any kind

What my goal is, and yours if you choose to accept it, is to do every day the same way, getting yourself (myself) into a routine to create. If you’re not a creative, TBD if No Plan Jan will work for you but try it out! Tell me! Maybe we have something good here.

I promise at least one more post before the end of the year. I’m not sure where I land on the blog and if it should be allowed for No Plan Jan. Part of me says yes since it does involve me sitting down at my laptop and writing. Ho-hum we will see. Happy New Year, Hart Beat.

Hannah Hart Beat

Both photos via one of my favorite Instagram accounts, @aygabrielle. Follow her!