Tag Archives: my life

Updates & A Few Things

Hola mi Amor. I miss you, Hart Beat! I’m sorry for being so MIA lately. As many of you know, I’m deep in the final edits of the God Damned book I’ve been working on this past year and a half. (If you’re on Instagram I’m sorry for harassing you so much with stories. It can get boring writing all day to an empty room.)

It’s been hard the last year and a half not keeping up with you here on ye old blog. There’s been so much culturally, philosophically, politically, sartorially, and just generally juicy happening this year that it’s driven me a little bananas to not process it here with you.

But you know, writing twice a day here takes time and the G.D. book has taken everything out of me. So I thought I’d pop in here and share with you some of the things I’ve been doing, reading, listening to, and buying lately.

Books & Things I’ve read and loved:
– Dining In by Alison Roman (HOW DID I MISS THIS WHEN IT CAME OUT!?!?)
– Love and Ruin by Paula Mclain
Fruit of the Drunken Tree by Ingrid Rojas Contreras
– Natalie Shapero’s poems in November’s POETRY Magazine. (Especially “Other Things, If not More Urgent Things”—read it here below. I couldn’t find a link.)
The NY Times profile on Anne Lamott. And her response on Instagram. God, I love her.

Songs I’ve had on repeat:
– NEW ROBYN HIIAAIIII HONEY. More specifically Missing U
– Your Best American Girl from Mitski (that bridge though)

Things I’ve bought:
– A new Outdoor Voices Kit now that they’re back for purchase (!! thank you Ty!)
This kickass t-shirt from Love Yoga in L.A.
– New white eyeshadow from Jane Airedale because I dropped my old one and it shattered 🙄.
This shirt from Madewell which I have yet to take off since its arrival in the mail.

I’m sure there are other things I should share with you (movies I’ve seen, places I’ve been—Portland, ME! Denver, CO! Brooklyn!—but I have to get back to the G.D. book. Talk soon, Hart Beat. xo

Other Things, If Not More Urgent Things
by Natalie Shapero

How to get close without going over.
How to feign lust for whatever’s on offer.
How the largest possible quantity
of anything is a lifetime. A lifetime
of oat bran. A lifetime of timing belts.
A lifetime of saying, SURE, WHY NOT,
I’M ONLY ON EARTH FOR X NUMBER
OF YEARS, and not knowing what
to make x. Sometimes I pick a number
I’ve already passed. I remember
the gambler’s credo— when you only
have fifty bucks left in this world,
you’d better get rid of it fast; the last
thing you want is money around,
reminding you every day of the money
you lost. The recommended
retirement plan is arabesque, then leap
and smash on the seawall. We made
a promise not to catch each other.

Top photo via Gabrielle Thurin

Things Lately

Hi Hart Beat! Hello! Hola! Bonjour! It is me! You’re favorite lifestyle blogger turned writer who then disappeared for a year in the Berkshires and you never heard from again!

Not to fear though Hart Beat because this fall marks a re-entry to the blogosphere and this here site. The book is chugging along (#thirddraftissues) but I miss you here so I’m wanting to stop in a bit more.

For today, here are a few things that I’ve been thinking about, wanting, listening to, and just generally jonesing about lately. 

New Fall Jumpsuits. 

My two best friends here in the Berkshires, Kasha and Rachel, have both recently bought jumpsuits from the great L.A. company Big Bud. Kash, in the video below, got the Mustard Yellow and Rach has it in Dusty Rose. I’m thinking either plane jane black or Forest Green. I love the idea of having a legit uniform for the Fall and Winter months. 

This Tweet from Paula Froelich. I’m finding fire, inspiration, regret, and fierce fight after seeing this tweet about Frida Kahlo

This song from Lorde’s album Melodrama from last summer. It feels so much like what this summer has been and I listen to it over and over in the car while I’m driving around my hometown. Do you know it, Hart Beat?

And that’s it for now, Hart Beat. See you soon. xo

Shanti Shanti Frustration: On Yoga & Gratitude

Hannah Hart Beat

I lost my yoga mat last week. My mom and I had just arrived at Grand Central Station after riding Metro North from Southeast station. It was raining and snowing at the same time and we stood on 42nd street without umbrellas for ten minutes trying desperately to hail a taxi. When we finally ducked into a free cab we were soaking wet and I remembered all the reasons I hated living in New York. When we arrived at the hotel where we would be spending the night before our five am flight the next morning I cursed the city again when our cab driver didn’t get out of the car to help me wrestle our suitcases from the trunk of his cab.

In my frenzy to get to shelter I left my mat there, laying in the trunk of the rusted, piss smelling cab and it wasn’t until the next morning that I realized my mistake. I cursed the city(again), the cab driver, the rain, my forgetfulness, and the universe in general. I’ve had that mat for five years. When I moved to Brooklyn I borrowed my mothers mat and when I started going to a few Yoga to the People classes in Williamsburg I left the mat there so I didn’t have to cart it back and forth on my bike (#classicbrooklyn). I’m almost one hundred percent sure that my mother’s mat that I originally left there was eventually switched out for another mat. They were both purple okay, Hart Beat! I just grabbed the closest purple mat! Regardless I’ve had that purple mat for a while and I loved it. I don’t even know what brand it was but I do know that it was extra long and squishy and forgiving on my inflexible muscles and bones.

Flash to 2018 the mat has followed me in a semi yoga revolution. over the summer I started a daily yoga practice. Four-year-ago Hannah is cringing at that sentence but it’s true. In true me form something that I swore countless times I hated viscerally has become one of the best things to come out of leaving the city last year. Since I moved back home to the Berkshires to commit to writing this G.D. book I’ve found that this area is a mecca for yoga. The Kripalu Center is less than three miles from where I live and some of the best yoga instructors in the world are only five minutes away. I’m addicted. I go to yoga every day and when I miss a class I feel genuinely sad, like part of me is missing.

Enter my frustration at losing that purple mat. The next morning while waiting in the Delta check-in line I took the only shot I had and sent the NYC TLC an email claiming a lost item, pleading them to send it back to me if they found it. They didn’t find it. Undeterred I practiced yoga the entire week on vacation on a pile of towels and extra hotel blankets. It wasn’t horrible but it’s not something I’d recommend when you’re trying to perch in crow.

When I got back to the Berkshires this week I walked myself into the Kripalu store and bought a new mat—a different mat. It’s green, thin and, flexible, kind of like me now and I realize now that it’s a good thing I lost my mat. I love my new mat. And so instead of cursing that taxi driver and New York and the universe, I’m grateful. When I step onto the vaguely plastic smelling mat I smile and breath deeper into my down dog.

———

This is the first post in what I hope is a series on yoga and my feelings toward it. The G.D. book’s first draft is done so instead of writing new words every day I’m editing words already written. Half of the words in the manuscript are wrong but I try to remind myself that that means half are right. Talk to you soon Hart Beat, and until then, Shanti Shanti Namaste. (Excuse me while I go chill in extended child’s pose and think about how four-year-ago-Hannah just threw up a little in her mouth.)

Top picture is of my new green Jade Yoga mat. I can’t recommend them enough, Hart Beat.

Dreaming of Warmer Weather (Three Things)

Hannah Hart Beat

It’s too snowy to drive to any coffee shop to work today (snow storm # one million) so I’m bundled up in my down jacket while the fire in my studio breaks the temperature from freezing to something bearable. Once it’s warm I’m back to the G.D. book but for now let’s distract ourselves with a few things that I’ve been on my mind. Thank Sweet Baby Yeezus in two weeks from today I’ll be surfing and sunning in Costa Rica for a week officially taking a break from the winter and writing. What’s keeping you going in the cold this week, Hart Beat?

This poem from February’s Poetry Magazine by James Brown.

Waiheke

You yearn so much
you could be a yacht.
Your mind has already
set sail. It takes a few days
to arrive

at island pace,
but soon you are barefoot
on the sand,
the slim waves testing
your feet

like health professionals.
You toe shells, sea glass, and odd things
that have drifted for years
and finally
washed up here.

You drop your towel
and step out of
your togs, ungainly,
first
your right foot, then

the other
stepping down
the sand
to stand
in the water.

There is no discernible
difference
in temperature.
You breaststroke in
the lazy blue.

A guy passing in a rowboat
says, “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
And it is. Your body
afloat in salt
as if cured.

This song by Drake that I keep playing while driving around the county, imagining myself instead, running on a beach into salty, warm ocean water.

Drinking as much Six Depot Costa Rica coffee that I can get my hands on. It’s the best coffee in The Berkshires (IMO) and I can’t get enough of it this week. It is currently defrosting my fingers as we speak.

Hannah Hart Beat

The top photo was taken by me three years ago in Costa Rica.

Hannah Hart Beat

New Year

Hannah Hart Beat

Hi Hart Beat! Happy New Year! How’s your No Plan Jan going? It may be only day three but for me, it’s been going pretty well. I’ve been in my studio the last three days and it’s more than December so, there you go. I thought about doing a big post a la 2017 but it felt like too much, and honestly, my time is better spent writing my book. You can get the juicy details when (if) it comes one.

I do want to talk about something else though. First, a disclaimer. This is not a diet blog and those of you who know me, know that I hate diets and/or talking about food in general. Eat what you eat, make sure it’s delicious, and no one wants to hear that you’re starving yourself or if you hate your body. THAT BEING SAID. Lots of people on my social timelines have been posting that they’re doing the Whole30 for the first time this month. January man, what a time to be alive. As I mentioned here on the blog, I did my first Whole30 this past October/November. I’m not sure exactly what made me want to try it but I suspect it was because in one day I had two coffees with three sugars in each and two sugar cider donuts which two days later made my face break out into the worst pimples I’ve ever had. Whomp whomp.

The Whole30 was very, very difficult at the beginning (lots of sugar withdrawal headaches) but I did end up loving it in the end and have kept up most of the diet since then. I still don’t eat dairy (most of the time), added sugar (adios ketchup), or grains. I know I had tons of questions and looks for any tip I could find when I started it so I thought I’d share a few things that really helped me. Maybe they’ll help you too, Hart Beat!

  • Almond butter. Almond butter. Almond butter. Nuts are not included in the Whole30 except almonds. There’s a great natural food store in the Berkshires that makes homemade 100% single ingredient almond butter and I lived off it. On apples, on bananas, on spoons, it really saved me!
  • Green Mountain Salsa. A friend of mine told me on about day three that she had done the Whole30 and discovered that Green Mountain Salsa, while technically not allowed on Whole30 (it comes in a jar) doesn’t contain any added sugars or anything else not Whole30 approved. I ate this almost every day as a replacement for what I would usually use ketchup on. Burgers, potatoes, eggs, carrots are all delicious with this stuff.
  • Stop complaining, just drink your coffee black (and add an ice cube to it). Almond milk lattes are horrible, trust me. Coconut milk ones aren’t much better and even though it took me about two weeks to get used to it, three months later I still drink my coffee black. A coworker gave me a GREAT tip to adjusting to the drink. Add an ice cube to hot black coffee. There’s something about liquid slowly melting into the coffee that feels like milk and hot black coffee tastes horrible while semi lukewarm black coffee tastes much better. IDK why it is but there you go.

I’m doing the diet again this month strictly and it is WAY easier the second time. The hardest part this time around are avoiding the cookies left over from the holiday season. All I can say is thank god for dried apricots.

And because it is the start of a New Year here are my resolutions if you’re interested:

  • Recieve one rejection letter every month (from anything; submissions, grants, writing residencies, requests for mentorship…)
  • Read a book a week (follow me on Goodreads and we can do it together! My first one, which I’m loving is Call Me By Your Name.)
  • Pull my shoulders down more often, do yoga, stretch more, run, get massages bi-monthly, literally DO ANYTHING to relieve the constant stress balls that live in my shoulders.

P.S. My resolutions from 2017, 2016, 2014. Apparently, I didn’t have any in 2015 and didn’t feel like sharing them here in 2013, 2012 or 2011. 🤷‍♀️

Photo via Kristen Cesiro on Instagram.

December Time

Hannah Hart Beat

Hiya Hart Beat. Greetings from sunny Stockbridge, Massachusetts. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been doing lots of traveling and am happy to report that I have successfully trapped myself in a pile of knit sweaters and books to be read for the rest of the month. I will not be traveling until I can dig myself out of this cozy mess. Please don’t send help.

Not only did I visit Montreal for Thanksgiving, last week I visited New York City for the first time since leaving at the end of March this year. It had been eight months since I was back and I had avoided it for a while, getting anxiety dreams about even thinking of going back over the summer. By the time Fall rolled around though, there were so many people that I wanted to see that it was finally time. I mean, I did live there for five years.

So I went. I visited some of my favorite people, drank delicious coffee, walked around, and bought too many books. And you know what was the craziest thing about being back, Hart Beat? That city has not changed A BIT since I left. Seriously, it kind of felt like the last eight months hadn’t happened. The thing was though, that I felt different. It was weird to be in a place that hadn’t changed when I feel like I’m in such a different, better place. Instead of feeling like I couldn’t fit into the city, it felt like the city couldn’t fit into me.

Now that I’m back I’m so happy that I can call this studio, this town, this county, my home right now. I don’t think I’ll be here forever but I do know that I’m going to milk every hour out of the Berkshires until it’s time to move on.

In other news, happy December!! It’s one of my favorite months and so, in honor of cozy time, here are a few things on my mind lately. #hyggeedition

Waiting (not so patiently) for Call Me By Your Name to come to the Triplex. I also just ordered the book to read hopefully before seeing the movie and am ashamed at home much I paid for the non-movie cover version of the book. #iamvain

I’ve been unable to stop listening to this season’s Dissect series on My Beautiful Deep Twisted Fantasy but was BLOWN AWAY by the episodes on “Devil in a New Dress” and “Runaway.” They were always my favorites on the album and now they are probably two of my favorite songs of all time.

Loving Caroline Donofrio’s (former editor of Cup of JoInstagram series on different “Haiku’s From Former Lovers.” It’s hard to pick a favorite but this one really got me:

No. 22 / #HaikusForFormerLovers

A post shared by Caroline Cala Donofrio (@carolinecala) on

Living in this sweater I snagged on Cyber Monday from Madewell.

Feeling weird for (finally) reading Tenth of December by George Saunders because it’s December? No? Yes?

Amazed at this interview in The Fold with author Claire Dedler about her book Love and Trouble. I loved this bit,

While I was working on the book, a friend said to me, “You probably know what you would teach young Claire if you could, but what does young Claire have to teach you?” What she had to teach me was in those journals: the importance of love and yearning and, yes, pretentiousness things we sometimes forget about in the daily round of grown-up life.

– Claire Dedler

Okay back to reading. Talk soon, Hart Beat. xo

 

Hannah Hart Beat

Love, Dating & A Few Other Things

Hannah Hart Beat

Hi Hart Beat. How are you? How was your Thanksgiving? Did you do anything fun? Is anyone reading this? Hello? Are you there? Jkjk, I know there are a few of you out there and you have no idea how much I appreciate you. My book is coming along and I’m so used to writing to a readerless void right now that it’s hard to imagine you, a physical, thinking being, sitting there on the subway, or drinking your coffee, or sneaking a break at work, or lying in bed with your phone hovered over your squinting eyes, reading these words that I’m typing right now. Hi.

What’s new enough with me to warrant a post instead of another thousand words to my manuscript? Other than the fact that I miss writing to you, it’s also because I’ve been thinking of things that I thought maybe others in the internet world could relate to. That sticky wicket that I know you can relate to is love. Dating, relationships, and love. As I write this now I’ve been single for over six months. Back in May, I decided that I would intentionally not date until Thanksgiving and/or Christmas. On Thanksgiving day last week, I oscillated back and forth between which date I had actually said and about if I am ready or even want to date now. I mean, I like dating. I like going out for dinner and flirting. Actually, I love flirting. Which begs the question, why not date?

Why not. If you were sitting here with me you would have just heard an earth-shatteringly deep sigh. The truth Hart Beat? I’m happy single. I like that I don’t have to have an excuse to be selfish. I like that I don’t have to text anyone goodnight. I like that I can wear whatever I want and watch whatever I want on Netflix. I like that when I got a dog I could name him whatever I wanted, even if it was a rediculous name like Mateo. I like not compromising. How long do I want to be single? I guess it depends. It depends on life and the universe and fate and reality. What I do know is that the most important thing to me in the entire universe right now is the G.D. book that begs to be poured out of me every day. That has priority. That’s the thing that keeps me up at night. Not some guy.

Is this all TMI? IDK. Probs. (My bff Jill?) If it’s too much just file it under “this is a blog I’ll never read again” and I’ll see you some other place Hart Beat. If not, see you back here in a couple of weeks.

And p.s., because I like you and I do want you to come back, here are a few other things on my mind lately:

This cover of Capital Cities song Safe and Sound in an acoustic version that makes my heart swell. I know a few of you out there in the internet world get a little aroused when listening to these kinds of covers. You’re welcome.

This 2007 essay by Zadie Smith about writing. Fail Better is just the kind of thing that I’ve needed to read this week.

This post from NYMag. I love that it’s not photoshopped, click the little arrow on the right to see how it was made.

The movie Lady BirdWhich I LOVED SO MUCH. I’m also excited to see a few other movies in the next few weeks (Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, MissouriThe Shape of WaterCall Me By Your NameThe Post). It truly is the most wonderful time of the year.

The Scandinavian Spa in Montreal that my mom and I went to on Thanksgiving day. It’s silent and has three hot and cold areas. The idea is to go from one to the other. Hands down one of the best things I’ve done in a while.

The photo up top posted by Sézane on Instagram.

Hannah Hart Beat

November Things

Hannah Hart Beat

Hi friends! Long time no talk. How are you? How’s your November going? Thoughts on daylight savings? Three weeks till Thanksgiving? I’ve been keeping a list of things I want to write to you about in my journal and the list has finally hit more than a dozen so I figured it was time to break down and say hi here. Hi.

In ye old Stockbridge not much new is happening. I’m still working on my book (!!), still working part-time at the café, and still trying to teach Tato how to play dead. Other than that, going to the movies every week, and walking around town, not much new to report. But here are a handful of things I’ve been thinking about that I thought you might like too. Per usual, each of these things could have its own post but because I’m #writingamotherfuckingbook a short shout-out, for now, will have to do.

P.S. As per photo above I did end up getting bangs. I love them and feel v. French.

Hannah Hart Beat

I finally broke down and watched the second season of Master of None on Netflix. Three important things about it 1) I’m in love with Aziz Ansari (Aziz, if you’re reading this, give me a call). 2) I want to be/own everything that the female lead Alessandra Mastronardi is/has on the show. Viva Italia. 3) I’m shocked how much the second season parallels my romantic life as much as the first one did at the time I saw it. Attempt numero-two for Aziz to call me. Let’s make a third season together. #seewhatididthere

Listen to this song by Post Animal. I’m going to see the band this week with two of my sisters and I can’t wait to hear them play “When I Get Home” live. P.S. Steve from Stranger Things is in the band and I can’t get over him since seeing S2 of the show and reading this GQ article. #ivebeensingletoolong #mrharringtongivemeacallalsoplease

Hannah Hart Beat

I’m learning to tolerate black coffee.  You read that right, Hart Beat. This month, for reasons, unbeknownst to me, I started the Whole30 diet. What it is is pretty much cutting out anything delicious in your life. I can’t have sugar, dairy. grains, or legumes of any sort. I’m currently on day fourteen and it’s going pretty well. I don’t hate it but the one thing that I’m surprised to now like is black coffee. Who am I?

Hannah Hart Beat

Deciding whether or not I want to order my favorite holiday candle even though it’s not even Thanksgiving yet. The Wassail Candle from Farmhouse Pottery in Vermont is one of my favorite things. Last year I had it in my apartment and savored every moment of the 40 hour burn time. It’s not a cheap candle but, I promise if you like the smell of pine and evergreen trees you’ll love this. An added bonus is the adorable design of the box.

Listening to a podcast about my favorite album of all timeThanks to a recommendation from a friend I found the second season of the podcast Dissect: A Serialized Music Podcast. The entire twelve episode series is a song by song analysis of Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. The 2010 album is one of my favorite of all time and I love hearing each song broken down and talked about. If you like (or hate) Kanya I highly recommend.

Hannah Hart Beat

Send me your Montreal recommendations! I’m going to the Canadian city for a quick vacation later this month and I want your suggestions! I’m so excited since the last time I went to the city was when I was ten. It’s been on my list for years and I can’t wait to explore the city. Any coffee shop, bookstores, boutiques, restaurants, bars, live music that you love would be amazing. I can’t wait to pretend I’m in Europe for a few days. (Photo via To Europe Beyond.)

Hannah Hart Beat

A New Richard Linklater movie is coming! I heard this great interview with the director on NPR the other morning and, even though I wasn’t crazy about Boyhood, I want to see his newest. Last Flag Flying, sadly, isn’t another installment of my favorite series but it does star Brian Cranston (swoon) so at least there’s that.

Hannah Hart Beat

I’m almost done with my sweater! I started the knitting project a year ago and I can’t believe it’s almost done. I’m thinking of holding a Drake “Hotline Bling” inspired photo shoot when I’m done. Keep an eye on Instagram later this month.

Hannah Hart Beat

This poster from Rise + Fall. Not much more to say about it other than it’s hanging in my writing studio now and is giving me all the encouragement I need when I sit down and try to write every day.

And that’s it for now, Hart Beat. Talk soon. xo

Back At It (And all things Paris)

Hannah Hart Beat

Hi Hart Beat. How have you been lately? Me? Oh well, you know, just sitting here thinking and writing as I have been every day this month. Ha. Not. No, not even close. I’ve been struggling lately, Hart Beat. Struggling with this GD book that is pretty much begging to be written but what I just can’t seem to find the time to get done. I’ve been looking for inspiration every which way and the most helpful has come in this quote:

You climb a long ladder until you can see over the roof, or over the clouds. You are writing a book. You watch your shod feet step on each round rung, one at a time; you do not hurry and do not rest.” – Annie Dillard

You do not hurry and do not rest. That quote has been playing in my head for most days, for most of the time. You do not hurry and do not rest. The quote comes from my favorite book on writing so far Writing: The Perils and Pleasures of a Creative Life by Dani Shapiro. I feel over the moon lucky and happy to be going to a conference by Dani this weekend at Kripalu in Lenox. It’s a weekend of meditation and writing and just what I need right now. I’ve been trying to write every day but to be honest Hart Beat, in the eleven days so far this month I’ve written only four. That’s not even half. I don’t want to even think what the ratio was in September. I know it was appalling.

So, what have I been doing other than working on this book that is pretty much begging me to be written at this point? Not much more than what I wrote about in the last post/life update. Although, there has been one addition, a newfangled obsession with Paris. I know, I know, I know, let’s get more cliche right? Le sigh. I don’t know, Hart Beat, I know that Madrid is my favorite city in the world with New York coming in a close second but ever since my mom and I visited the city of lights this past April I can’t stop thinking about it and wanting to visit again (or live there? Who said that?).

What I loved about Paris was how many people my age there were there. While most of my friends lived in New York when I was there, we still didn’t see each other very often. And that was not their fault, it was mine. Life was so busy and work took up so much time. Even more, everyone lived so far apart (again partially my fault), but in Paris, all I saw at night were people in their mid-twenties and thirties out for drinks or just walks around the city. I am probably (most definitely) romanticizing it but what can I say, that’s who I am.

So, in honor of my current city muse, here are a few Paris inspired things I’ve been wanting, having, and dreaming about.

Hannah Hart Beat

This t-shirt ^^ from the effortlessly chic French fashion brand Sézanne. Even more of a bonus they are giving it to you for FREE between now and October 17th with an order of $200 or more. Yes, please.

Hannah Hart Beat

The dilemma I’m in right now about whether or not to get bangs. I had them at one point but then when they wouldn’t style right and I asked my Brooklyn hairdresser why she told me that I “lived too active a lifestyle for bangs.” I’m not sure if my lifestyle is any less active now but I think I want them again. See inspo photos above. Clearly, I am obsessed with Jane Burkin but please give me a break, I know you are too Hart Beat.

Hannah Hart Beat

And finally, the new book that The Paris Review is coming out with this November. The publication may be based out of New York but they clearly have as much an affinity for the city as I do. The book, Women at Work looks inspiring and beautiful and just what we all need right now. Some of my favorite authors are included in the book and let’s just say, I am now extra excited for November to get here.

And that’s it Hart Beat, all I have to say here today. I clearly have so much more to say but I think I’m going to channel it into my book now. You can thank me later.