Shanti Shanti Frustration: On Yoga & Gratitude

Hannah Hart Beat

I lost my yoga mat last week. My mom and I had just arrived at Grand Central Station after riding Metro North from Southeast station. It was raining and snowing at the same time and we stood on 42nd street without umbrellas for ten minutes trying desperately to hail a taxi. When we finally ducked into a free cab we were soaking wet and I remembered all the reasons I hated living in New York. When we arrived at the hotel where we would be spending the night before our five am flight the next morning I cursed the city again when our cab driver didn’t get out of the car to help me wrestle our suitcases from the trunk of his cab.

In my frenzy to get to shelter I left my mat there, laying in the trunk of the rusted, piss smelling cab and it wasn’t until the next morning that I realized my mistake. I cursed the city(again), the cab driver, the rain, my forgetfulness, and the universe in general. I’ve had that mat for five years. When I moved to Brooklyn I borrowed my mothers mat and when I started going to a few Yoga to the People classes in Williamsburg I left the mat there so I didn’t have to cart it back and forth on my bike (#classicbrooklyn). I’m almost one hundred percent sure that my mother’s mat that I originally left there was eventually switched out for another mat. They were both purple okay, Hart Beat! I just grabbed the closest purple mat! Regardless I’ve had that purple mat for a while and I loved it. I don’t even know what brand it was but I do know that it was extra long and squishy and forgiving on my inflexible muscles and bones.

Flash to 2018 the mat has followed me in a semi yoga revolution. over the summer I started a daily yoga practice (learn more here). Four-year-ago Hannah is cringing at that sentence but it’s true. In true me form something that I swore countless times I hated viscerally has become one of the best things to come out of leaving the city last year. Since I moved back home to the Berkshires to commit to writing this G.D. book I’ve found that this area is a mecca for yoga. The Kripalu Center is less than three miles from where I live and some of the best yoga instructors in the world are only five minutes away. I’m addicted. I go to yoga every day and when I miss a class I feel genuinely sad, like part of me is missing.

Enter my frustration at losing that purple mat. The next morning while waiting in the Delta check-in line I took the only shot I had and sent the NYC TLC an email claiming a lost item, pleading them to send it back to me if they found it. They didn’t find it. Undeterred I practiced yoga the entire week on vacation on a pile of towels and extra hotel blankets. It wasn’t horrible but it’s not something I’d recommend when you’re trying to perch in crow.

When I got back to the Berkshires this week I walked myself into the Kripalu store and bought a new mat—a different mat. It’s green, thin and, flexible, kind of like me now and I realize now that it’s a good thing I lost my mat. I love my new mat. And so instead of cursing that taxi driver and New York and the universe, I’m grateful. When I step onto the vaguely plastic smelling mat I smile and breath deeper into my down dog.


This is the first post in what I hope is a series on yoga and my feelings toward it. The G.D. book’s first draft is done so instead of writing new words every day I’m editing words already written. Half of the words in the manuscript are wrong but I try to remind myself that that means half are right. Talk to you soon Hart Beat, and until then, Shanti Shanti Namaste. (Excuse me while I go chill in extended child’s pose and think about how four-year-ago-Hannah just threw up a little in her mouth.)

Top picture is of my new green Jade Yoga mat. I can’t recommend them enough, Hart Beat.

0 thoughts on “Shanti Shanti Frustration: On Yoga & Gratitude

  1. BrendanTic

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Lovely facts. Thanks!
    viagra cut pills in half viagra for sale uk buying viagra online uk generic viagra
    <a href="”>viagra side effects swelling prostate pain
    viagra can women take
    buy viagra in perth
    viagra blues video
    buy viagra online 35008 buy viagra
    viagra makes me light headed

  2. BrendanTic

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Nicely put, Thank you!
    viagra in a drink buy viagra heath reform viagra buy viagra online
    cakes shaped like viagra
    <a href="”>pictures of patients using viagra
    viagra msg
    viagra and hearing loss
    pill viagra
    pennysaver newspaper viagra

  3. Kennethknopy

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    This is nicely expressed! .
    how to buy viagra on line generic viagra snorting viagra health viagra pills
    katelaris p viagra australia
    free sample viagra woman
    discount generic viagra soft tabs
    articles of counterfeit viagra
    <a href="”>very cheap viagra
    viagra and testim

  4. Kennethknopy

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Really plenty of fantastic knowledge!
    safe viagra generic viagra 100mg canadan viagra pharmacy scam viagra online
    anyone order viagra online blog
    <a href="”>october 70 off viagra spam
    viagra and cialis
    stop viagra flushing
    business of sex pill industry viagra
    canadian viagra $2.00


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *