Hi Hart Beat! I have something to admit… I have been doing some online shopping. In even more honesty, it’s more than I should be doing because what I should be doing is buying the rest of the Christmas gifts on my list. But I can’t help myself! This season everyone I love is having sales. And this is not excluding Madewell (who at this very minute is having 25% off their entire site as a “thank you to procrastinators” aka “here you go buy everything you’ve wanted all year because it’s Wednesday night and lalala it’s the holidays.” (Code is LATEBIRD.)
Anyway, I made a pretty big order over Cyber Monday and so I thought I’d share some of the things that I honest to god love so much. First up, up top and #3 in the grid below, these plaid pajamas. Madewell calls them “Flannel Bedtime Pajamas” and they are my favorite thing right now. The only two reviews on the site claim that the pants are too wide but WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? The pants are perfect. I’m wearing them right now. And the pajama top! I won’t go on because there are other things I want to talk about but it’s the cutest and most comfortable thing I’ve bought in a while and I get so sad every morning when I take it off before I go to work. I’ll be honest, I’ve definitely considered just wearing it to the office. Now I officially cannot. #whatever
And here’s a rundown of the rest: #1 = THE body suite I’ve been pinning about since the summer. It’s this amazing sweater material that’s not too hot, not too cold. Almost as if goldilocks were a sexy body suit. #2 = the most comfortable beanie in the most flattering color. I feel like a tall Swedish babe when I wear it and I don’t think I ever want to feel anything else ever again. And #4 = Another sweater. Why? Because it’s December and I already hate the winter and my attempt to fix this feeling is by bundling myself up with the softest things ever until April when I remember again when I love this city. Anything you’re loving from Madewell or anywhere else right now?
Hi Hart Beat. How’s your night going? I went back to the Bar Ballet class I went to for the first time since the summer tonight. It literally kicked my ass and I could barely walk home. I think that’s a good thing? Anyway, what I really wanted to talk to you about tonight is something that keeps popping up over and over again for me. Do you meditate, Hart Beat?
I’m sure it’s one of those things like when you buy a car and then start to see it everywhere but I swear that ever since I started meditating about a month ago it’s now everywhere I look. The New York Times is writing articles about it, one of my favorite podcasts is having episodes about it, man, even signs for Headspace are popping up all over the subway. I guess it all started for me when I was growing up and my dad would take 20 minutes a day to meditate. It was always so strange to me and my brother that he would just, seemingly randomly, sit in a corner and close his eyes for what seemed like a sitting nap. When I got into high school he tried to teach me how to become mindful but it didn’t work for me at all. In fact, it gave me more depressive thoughts and anxiety.
If you know me Hart Beat, you know I don’t like to be alone. I get sad when I’m alone. I get sad when it’s too quiet. It’s progressed so much that now, even at the ripe old age of 26 I still can’t fall asleep without listening to anything. Right now I’m going through the David Sedaris library for the hundredth time. It’s a problem. And I love David Sedaris. I also have a hard time working from home when it’s just me in the apartment all day. Pedro will come home and find me sitting on the couch close to tears just looking out the window. No bueno.
This is a long-winded way of saying that last month I thought I’d try something new. Mindfulness is always a buzz word floating around and after November 8th I was really needing some sense of community and peace. So I googled “meditation centers in manhattan” and, to my surprise, one came up that didn’t look half so kooky. The Kadampa Meditation Center is two blocks from my office (win) and is while it’s technically a religious site dedicated to the teachings of Buddhism, the also have daily meditation meetings that I’ve been going to. It’s hard, Hart Beat. I really don’t like sitting in a room in silence with just my thoughts. It’s been a month and I still feel far away from where I know I can be in the practice. Sometimes when I sit down I can’t stop my work to-do list running through my mind.Sometimes I end up thinking about what I imagine who pro meditation Hannah would be. Sometimes I fall asleep. But I’ve kept going and I’ve tried to start my mornings off too with just breathing exercises.
So I wanted to turn to you, Hart Beat. Have you ever tried meditating? Too weird? Not weird enough? Breathing meditation? Transcendental meditation? Running meditation? I want to hear it. And I promise I’ll report back in a week or so with my progress.
Photo from *dapple dapple on flikr.
Okay Hart Beat. We’re eighteen days till Christmas. How’s that list of yours coming? This year, thanks to god know who because I usually am the person running around December 23rd looking for presents, I have most of my list done. There are just a few people that I’m like huh…. waaaaa…. aka actually stumped. Luckily for me (and you if you’re in the same sinking ship that I am), NPR just released an amazing site to help us all out. They’re calling the interactive, web designed drool inducing page the NPR Book Concierge, Best Books of 2016. Well, they’re actually calling it an App which I’m not really sure is true but hey, who knows what constitutes apps these days.
Anyway. Go to the site! It’s amazing. There are a series of filters on the left-hand side of your screen that you can click and unclick to filter the 300 books that they have fully vetted and reviewed. And, true to NPR humor and wit, the filters are amazing. You can select from the basics like “Staff Picks” and “Nonfiction” but they also have “Rather Long”, “Rather Short”, “Let’s Talk About Sex”, “Ladies First”, and “The Dark Side”. These people get me.
Another thing I love about the site is when you click on a book it gives you a great review and places to buy INCLUDING your local bookstore by using the great site IndieBound. Ug. Love. I’ll be brainstorming other last minute tools that can help you cross friends and family still on your lists. Stay tuned, Hart Beat.
Hi Hart Beat. I know that it’s the time of year for buying things and planning holiday things (I do work for an ecom / cooking website) but all I can think about recently are all of the favorite women in my life. It’s pretty universal that November was rough. I’m still processing how I feel about November 8th and 9th but what I can say is it was the highest of highs followed by the worst low that I’ve had in a long time. There wasn’t much hope in that 48 hour period and, as much as I try to stay positive, there hasn’t been much hope since then.
I’ve tried to read the news and not read the news. I’ve tried to engage with conversations with people about where the future of our country is going and to just ignore the fact that we all know we’re somewhat fucked. But, in spite of all this, I have found the most absolute comfort in al the women in my life. They are who have gotten me through this last month and they are the sisters that I will stand next to going into 2017.
Five of my childhood girlfriends and I have a group imessage group that we started in 2013. It started originally as a Facebook group (pre-iphone) but even the change in technology couldn’t stop us from chit chatting about who we ran into from high school at the Y over Christmas break and what movies we were waiting to see the next season. Now we have a conversation that has been living on my phone for almost four years. The day after the election we renamed the group to “Nasty Beautiful Sisters” and I started crying all over again.
And it’s not just them. I feel so lucky that I can’t even count on one hand the amount of true sisters I have in the world. This post is already crazy long enough and since I try to keep them short here I’ll stop and just say thank you. Thank you to all my beautiful, kick-ass, nasty, hella smart, gracefull and kind friends reading this. I love you more than you know.