Updates & A Few Things

Hola mi Amor. I miss you, Hart Beat! I’m sorry for being so MIA lately. As many of you know, I’m deep in the final edits of the God Damned book I’ve been working on this past year and a half. (If you’re on Instagram I’m sorry for harassing you so much with stories. It can get boring writing all day to an empty room.)

It’s been hard the last year and a half not keeping up with you here on ye old blog. There’s been so much culturally, philosophically, politically, sartorially, and just generally juicy happening this year that it’s driven me a little bananas to not process it here with you.

But you know, writing twice a day here takes time and the G.D. book has taken everything out of me. So I thought I’d pop in here and share with you some of the things I’ve been doing, reading, listening to, and buying lately.

Books & Things I’ve read and loved:
– Dining In by Alison Roman (HOW DID I MISS THIS WHEN IT CAME OUT!?!?)
– Love and Ruin by Paula Mclain
Fruit of the Drunken Tree by Ingrid Rojas Contreras
– Natalie Shapero’s poems in November’s POETRY Magazine. (Especially “Other Things, If not More Urgent Things”—read it here below. I couldn’t find a link.)
The NY Times profile on Anne Lamott. And her response on Instagram. God, I love her.

Songs I’ve had on repeat:
– NEW ROBYN HIIAAIIII HONEY. More specifically Missing U
– Your Best American Girl from Mitski (that bridge though)

Things I’ve bought:
– A new Outdoor Voices Kit now that they’re back for purchase (!! thank you Ty!)
This kickass t-shirt from Love Yoga in L.A.
– New white eyeshadow from Jane Airedale because I dropped my old one and it shattered 🙄.
This shirt from Madewell which I have yet to take off since its arrival in the mail.

I’m sure there are other things I should share with you (movies I’ve seen, places I’ve been—Portland, ME! Denver, CO! Brooklyn!—but I have to get back to the G.D. book. Talk soon, Hart Beat. xo

Other Things, If Not More Urgent Things
by Natalie Shapero

How to get close without going over.
How to feign lust for whatever’s on offer.
How the largest possible quantity
of anything is a lifetime. A lifetime
of oat bran. A lifetime of timing belts.
A lifetime of saying, SURE, WHY NOT,
I’M ONLY ON EARTH FOR X NUMBER
OF YEARS, and not knowing what
to make x. Sometimes I pick a number
I’ve already passed. I remember
the gambler’s credo— when you only
have fifty bucks left in this world,
you’d better get rid of it fast; the last
thing you want is money around,
reminding you every day of the money
you lost. The recommended
retirement plan is arabesque, then leap
and smash on the seawall. We made
a promise not to catch each other.

Top photo via Gabrielle Thurin

Hannah Hart Beat

Fall Movies

Hola Hart Beat! One of the best things I’ve started doing since moving back to the Berkshires was implement a Tuesday Night Movies ritual with my friends and family.

In the city, it was so expensive to go to the movies and I never felt like I really had time. Here in the Berkshires, there are two small local theaters within a twenty-minute drive of where I live and so there’s always something good to see. Plus, both theaters have a Tuesday night deal where any movie is $6.00. Score. The only problem is that because we only have a handful of screens, movies only will stick around for a week or two.

What that means is that every Tuesday, my friends and family have a standing date at one of the theaters. As my friend Kasha says, “A bad movie is always better than no movie at all.” And so, every Tuesday, no matter what’s at The Triplex or The Beacon, we go to the movies.

The ones that I’ve liked particularly the last few months have been Leave No TraceCrazy Rich AsiansEighth Grade, and Three Identical Strangers. If you haven’t seen any of them go, go, go, go!!

And here are a few trailers for ones that I’m excited to see:


Ethan Hawk AS A GRANDFATHER jdkfjdksfjdksfjdkls^^^

What have you seen recently, Hart Beat? Anything good? Anything bad? I’ll talk movies anytime!

Top photo from Crazy Rich Asians, second photo from Eight Grade.
First trailer is for Juliet, Naked, second is for Colette, and third is for McQueen.

Change

Hola Hart Beat. Can you believe it’s already the end of August? On Friday it will be September and even though Summer doesn’t officially end for a few more weeks I can feel it coming. Living in the Berkshires has given me such a connection to nature, something I never truly felt in New York, and every day the air, the trees, the wind, the bugs remind me that times are changing.

Change—something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. The other week in my favorite yoga class, my teacher talked about the idea that our bodies are biologically trained to accept change but that our social construct doesn’t welcome the idea. We don’t freak out when night comes because we know morning is coming right after but it’s our cultural and construction associated with change that gives us anxiety and regrets when we encounter change.

I’ve thought about that idea since she said it to our sangha. For me, this summer has been the cherry on top of this entire last year of freedom and exploration. I’ve never been happier or more fulfilled and it makes me anxious, this change in season. Can this happiness and life continue as the leaves fall, the temperature cools, and the fresh tomatoes in my backyard garden stop producing?

The book I’m writing, the god-damned book, is all about change. It’s about returning to your personhood you might have lost along the way of life. But I’ve been thinking lately, do you really return? Or do you incorporate your old self into your new self while not berating your past person for the time you might have lost or the self you might have pushed away?

People move, relationships progress, friendships ebb and flow, summer ends, fall begins, jobs grow stale, ideas bloom, and so much more—sometimes even all at once. I’ve been trying to embrace the changes and remind myself that it is all okay, that it’s all good even. It’s nature and natural for these things to happen. If we didn’t change what would we even be? Not alive surely and not learning or growing. How boring would that be?

This morning I read through the poem of the day emails I get from The Paris Review and was struck by this one here. It reminds me so much of what I’ve been wrestling with.

Cold
by Gerard Malanga

The young girl is unable to change 
The form of her habitual thinking,
The posture with which she corresponds to 
A feeling of sadness, the flow of her 
Thoughts in which she is looking,
The facial expression, and so on; 
She forgets herself to remember her pain 
In the neck, to remember her problems. 
I’ve said this before, remembering myself in the same 
Situation until she came 
Into my life for the first time 
Remembering herself walking out in the open field 
Of vision with eyes full of tears and smoke 
Slowly coming out of her mouth.

I hope this gives you some comfort, even in just knowing that there’s someone out there who is also thinking about all of this.

Things Lately

Hi Hart Beat! Hello! Hola! Bonjour! It is me! You’re favorite lifestyle blogger turned writer who then disappeared for a year in the Berkshires and you never heard from again!

Not to fear though Hart Beat because this fall marks a re-entry to the blogosphere and this here site. The book is chugging along (#thirddraftissues) but I miss you here so I’m wanting to stop in a bit more.

For today, here are a few things that I’ve been thinking about, wanting, listening to, and just generally jonesing about lately. 

New Fall Jumpsuits. 

My two best friends here in the Berkshires, Kasha and Rachel, have both recently bought jumpsuits from the great L.A. company Big Bud. Kash, in the video below, got the Mustard Yellow and Rach has it in Dusty Rose. I’m thinking either plane jane black or Forest Green. I love the idea of having a legit uniform for the Fall and Winter months. 

This Tweet from Paula Froelich. I’m finding fire, inspiration, regret, and fierce fight after seeing this tweet about Frida Kahlo

This song from Lorde’s album Melodrama from last summer. It feels so much like what this summer has been and I listen to it over and over in the car while I’m driving around my hometown. Do you know it, Hart Beat?

And that’s it for now, Hart Beat. See you soon. xo

Live From Here at Tanglewood

Hannah Hart Beat

Hi. Hello. Hola. Hey. How are you, Hart Beat? Long time no talk. I hope you’ve been well, I promise I haven’t forgotten about you all here on the blog. The G.D. book is coming along. Drafts one and two are officially finished and the third should be done by the end of July. Whew.

Yesterday a friend of mine came up from the city to visit the Berkshires and see Live From Here recorded at Tanglewood in right here in the Berkshires. It wasn’t until we walked on the grounds for the concert that the production is the new iteration of Prarie Home Companion formally with Garrison Keilor. Long story short (sup Instagram stories) the concert was amazing and introduced me to an entirely new group of musicians. Chris Thile, Lake Street Dive, I’m With Her, Punch Brothers were all there and played in various combinations. I loved every minute.

Hannah Hart Beat

If you want to hear the recording you can download it or stream it here. I highly recommend it and then looking up the musicians that performed. And if you want something quicker here’s my favorite song performed at another live event. Thought you might like it, Hart Beat. Talk soon, I promise.

Four Songs for You

Hannah Hart Beat

Hello. Hi. Hola. It’s me! I’m not gone forever, Hart Beat! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you here on this here ye old blog but now that the G.D. book is kind of out of my hands for a month I felt like I needed to give you all a little love, my o.g. readers.

So to catch up a little bit here are five songs that I’ve been listening to lately. Four good summer-is-almost-here-ra-ta-ta-ta songs at least in my world. They’ve all been added to the official Hart Beat playlist on Spotify so if you want them and the six-year backlog I’ve collected there click this here link. I think out of all of them the middle two are my faves. What about you, Hart Beat? Send me anything new you’re loving and we can get the great music exchange back up and running.

1. “Woo” by Beach House from their new album 7.

2. “Every Time I Hear That Song” by Brandi Carlile from her new album By The Way, I Forgive You. P.S. Shout out to Gail for sharing this on her Spotify friend activity—you always share the best music. <3

3. “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me” by Mel Carter

4. “Such A Simple Thing” by Ray LaMontagne. It’s his first new single since 2016, v. exciting day and he’s playing up here at Mass Moca this summer if you’re in the area, Hart Beat.

Shanti Shanti Frustration: On Yoga & Gratitude

Hannah Hart Beat

I lost my yoga mat last week. My mom and I had just arrived at Grand Central Station after riding Metro North from Southeast station. It was raining and snowing at the same time and we stood on 42nd street without umbrellas for ten minutes trying desperately to hail a taxi. When we finally ducked into a free cab we were soaking wet and I remembered all the reasons I hated living in New York. When we arrived at the hotel where we would be spending the night before our five am flight the next morning I cursed the city again when our cab driver didn’t get out of the car to help me wrestle our suitcases from the trunk of his cab.

In my frenzy to get to shelter I left my mat there, laying in the trunk of the rusted, piss smelling cab and it wasn’t until the next morning that I realized my mistake. I cursed the city(again), the cab driver, the rain, my forgetfulness, and the universe in general. I’ve had that mat for five years. When I moved to Brooklyn I borrowed my mothers mat and when I started going to a few Yoga to the People classes in Williamsburg I left the mat there so I didn’t have to cart it back and forth on my bike (#classicbrooklyn). I’m almost one hundred percent sure that my mother’s mat that I originally left there was eventually switched out for another mat. They were both purple okay, Hart Beat! I just grabbed the closest purple mat! Regardless I’ve had that purple mat for a while and I loved it. I don’t even know what brand it was but I do know that it was extra long and squishy and forgiving on my inflexible muscles and bones.

Flash to 2018 the mat has followed me in a semi yoga revolution. over the summer I started a daily yoga practice. Four-year-ago Hannah is cringing at that sentence but it’s true. In true me form something that I swore countless times I hated viscerally has become one of the best things to come out of leaving the city last year. Since I moved back home to the Berkshires to commit to writing this G.D. book I’ve found that this area is a mecca for yoga. The Kripalu Center is less than three miles from where I live and some of the best yoga instructors in the world are only five minutes away. I’m addicted. I go to yoga every day and when I miss a class I feel genuinely sad, like part of me is missing.

Enter my frustration at losing that purple mat. The next morning while waiting in the Delta check-in line I took the only shot I had and sent the NYC TLC an email claiming a lost item, pleading them to send it back to me if they found it. They didn’t find it. Undeterred I practiced yoga the entire week on vacation on a pile of towels and extra hotel blankets. It wasn’t horrible but it’s not something I’d recommend when you’re trying to perch in crow.

When I got back to the Berkshires this week I walked myself into the Kripalu store and bought a new mat—a different mat. It’s green, thin and, flexible, kind of like me now and I realize now that it’s a good thing I lost my mat. I love my new mat. And so instead of cursing that taxi driver and New York and the universe, I’m grateful. When I step onto the vaguely plastic smelling mat I smile and breath deeper into my down dog.

———

This is the first post in what I hope is a series on yoga and my feelings toward it. The G.D. book’s first draft is done so instead of writing new words every day I’m editing words already written. Half of the words in the manuscript are wrong but I try to remind myself that that means half are right. Talk to you soon Hart Beat, and until then, Shanti Shanti Namaste. (Excuse me while I go chill in extended child’s pose and think about how four-year-ago-Hannah just threw up a little in her mouth.)

Top picture is of my new green Jade Yoga mat. I can’t recommend them enough, Hart Beat.

Dreaming of Warmer Weather (Three Things)

Hannah Hart Beat

It’s too snowy to drive to any coffee shop to work today (snow storm # one million) so I’m bundled up in my down jacket while the fire in my studio breaks the temperature from freezing to something bearable. Once it’s warm I’m back to the G.D. book but for now let’s distract ourselves with a few things that I’ve been on my mind. Thank Sweet Baby Yeezus in two weeks from today I’ll be surfing and sunning in Costa Rica for a week officially taking a break from the winter and writing. What’s keeping you going in the cold this week, Hart Beat?

This poem from February’s Poetry Magazine by James Brown.

Waiheke

You yearn so much
you could be a yacht.
Your mind has already
set sail. It takes a few days
to arrive

at island pace,
but soon you are barefoot
on the sand,
the slim waves testing
your feet

like health professionals.
You toe shells, sea glass, and odd things
that have drifted for years
and finally
washed up here.

You drop your towel
and step out of
your togs, ungainly,
first
your right foot, then

the other
stepping down
the sand
to stand
in the water.

There is no discernible
difference
in temperature.
You breaststroke in
the lazy blue.

A guy passing in a rowboat
says, “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
And it is. Your body
afloat in salt
as if cured.

This song by Drake that I keep playing while driving around the county, imagining myself instead, running on a beach into salty, warm ocean water.

Drinking as much Six Depot Costa Rica coffee that I can get my hands on. It’s the best coffee in The Berkshires (IMO) and I can’t get enough of it this week. It is currently defrosting my fingers as we speak.

Hannah Hart Beat

The top photo was taken by me three years ago in Costa Rica.

Wedding Guest Dress Help

Hannah Hart Beat

Hi Hart Beat! Long time no talk! How’s your February going? Did you see the news about six more weeks of winter? Woof. Although, to be completely honest I’m not that surprised. It is only February after all. I’ve been writing away the last few weeks (TBH #NoPlanJan was a FAIL) but I still got just about the entire first draft of my book done. This month it’s all about the edits baby.

Aside from the book, there’s been something else distracting me on the internet. And I need your help Hart Beat! I’m so excited because this spring I have a few events (cough weddings) I’m going to and I need suggestions on where to get a dress. Last fall I went to a wedding in Vermont and wore a great dress from Reformation but it’s black and the weddings this year are in the spring so I’m not sure black is the best. Plus, isn’t it bad luck to wear black to a wedding? Halp meeeee.

Hannah Hart Beat

Anyway, since last summer I started doing yoga every day my body has gone through #changes and I’m not sure it’s the best dress anyway for me right now. So, send me your recommendations! Where have you gotten dresses for weddings in the past? I’m not wanting to spend Ulla Johnson money but am looking for something a little more than Asos. I’ve been hitting all my staples like Madewell and Sézane but nada at the moment. Maybe it’s too early? Comment or message me your favorite brands and I will be forever grateful 🙏🏼.

P.S. Both these dresses here are said Ulla Johnson 💸😭.